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The Silent One

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 6
The one cries,
No one hears her.
It's no suprise,
They just don't listen...they never do.
On the inside she bleeds.
Her spirit is dead.
She is striving for something...
...something she needs.
She doesn't dare ask.
Her life is a task, not something meant to enjoy.
She wishes she could leave.
Leave and never come back.
Leave the pain and the hurt.
Leave her dad's violent blows,
And her mom's alcohal stained breath.
To bad she knowns of nothing to come.
In just nine months,
She will learn all that she needs to know,
About the two people she will call,
mom and dad...




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
i don't get the ending. is she pregnant? going to die from abuse?

and i suggest you add more visions of this girl - it's a touching image and should be expanded upon. for what you've got here, though, i must congratulate you.
Carpe Diem.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 66
It's good. You definately have your own style of poetry. The only thing that I think should be improved on is the description. It's important and there's pretty much no good description in there besides, "Alcohol stained (breath).."
Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves.
I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down.



You walk into this room at your own risk, because it leads to the future, not a future that will be but one that might be. This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements, technological advances, and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the super states that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.
— Rod Serling