So there wasn't actually alot to look at, as allways a nice set of highly idulgent discriptions. Your structure here varies and is different from other pieces you've written and it fits nice and well.
This I found a quite icky part, in this stanza the flow and rythem seem perfect till the last tiny part.
His Mother’s heart
is an indelible impression
that slips off one shoulder;
worn and faded by time.
The "by" here, it chucks it up a bit. I was thinking of "with" as a replacement or "through"
Well Brad, all I have to say, nice job
Cheerios, Chandni
