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The Beast Within

18 posts1, 2
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enjeru
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 40
Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 pm
enjeru says... · Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 pm
awesome. i like your imagery. and its very interesting how you used 'she' to describe. not many people put a werewolf in the female gender. i ocmmend you. ^_^ *round of applause*

also...like the others have said...the line "Late at night it comes clawing at the door, human no more.", is kind of long and awkward-ish. my suggestion is you take out the door part altogether.

----> "late at night it comes clawing, human no more."

but, really, this is a really neat poem. full of emotion. i can feel the rage. good job!!
"To look into the eyes of a wolf is to see your own soul."

-Aldo Leopold
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spiritblackwolf2705
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 107
Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:48 pm
spiritblackwolf2705 says... · Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:48 pm
Thank you very much, I will be fixing the Human no more line soon, Please check out my other work!
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Someguy
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 267
Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:27 am
Someguy says... · Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:27 am
Very cool, it gives you the kinda feeling that makes you feel the pain it is feeling.
Very cool.
Look at my big shiny shell...
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18 posts1, 2


For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which pursued its noise way beneath. The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations; when I placed my head upon my pillow, sleep crept over me; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein