The Curse of Mortality

17 posts1, 2
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Points 1090
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Very nice poem, really, more then just nice.
It has something magical to it.
I really like it.
(And I'm jealous because I can't write that kind of great poems).




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Points 6165
Reviews 665
I'd have to agree with Brad...heh...

The rhyming scheme was decent...did seem disconjointed or anything. But seriously,like I and so many others have said one million times, you shouldn't make serious poems rhyme...I mean, it takes away from it. And try to use imagery...this poem just stayed on one flat surface. It didn't go up or down...kind of monotnous.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.



Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a car game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant tomorrow? And we couldn't wait to grow up.
— Unknown