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The Old Man

3 posts
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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 20
A shadow of his former self:
his body weak; his mind still strong
as ever. Days spent in one room
are whiled away with idle dreams.
He climbed a mountain, swam the sea;
he crossed the desert - all behind
those youthful eyes set in
a wrinkled face.
Somewhat misplaced.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1090
Reviews 83
I love it. Specially the last line. YOU MUST LET ME HAVE IT IN MY SKETCHBOOK, CHILD.
You are a wonder to mine eyes xxx Don't know why you were worried about it, it's marvellous!
I just hit my computer
Because it was being slow
I need my daily Smallville fix
And it will not load the video.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 5715
Reviews 206
It's rather short, but I liked the message you were trying to convey. I think you should try to improve the ending, maybe extend it, because just putting "somewhat misplaced" at the end is a little too abrupt.

Nevertheless, I liked it. Hope to see more of your work, keep writing! ^^
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.



fun fact i hear my evil twin once wrote a story about a hacker who used the name fyshi33k bc there are 33k-ish species of fish and she liked phishing so fyshi-33k made sense but then she got super embarrassed when someone forced her to explain
— VyperShadow