Let Us Write

6 posts
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kitrosemon13
Gender Female
Points 1057
Reviews 63
Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:56 am
kitrosemon13 says... · Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:56 am
Let us write a melody and sing it together in song,
Let us move to a new beat and then dance along.

We shall write a sonnet an ode to good fortune,
All of us shall write a beautiful love poem,
and we all will laugh in tune.

-M.H. Darling
Pain is beautiful, when you feel pain you know you're alive. -Criss Angel
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kook9600
Gender None specified
Points 1949
Reviews 11
Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:20 pm
kook9600 says... · Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:20 pm
This is not a poem you read everyday, I found a message about peace and living in harmony in it.

In the first two lines, the rhyme seems effortless, but the rhythm seems a little off.

kitrosemon13 wrote:Let us write a melody and sing it together in song,
Let us move to a new beat and then we'll dance along.


In the second set of lines, I think the first line should be broken into two. It flows better.

Keep writing! :D
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nova
Gender Male
Points 14535
Reviews 78
Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:22 pm
nova says... · Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:22 pm
If this is not yours... I dont advise you post it on here. It is not your own work. Thus, its note really allowed.

Unless it is yours, then tell me and I will aplogize for being stupid. XD

Im not actually sure where you'd post other peoples reviews... :/
Alot of the time, im on here using my PS3 & my trusty usb keyboard.
Dont expect much fancy quoting blocks... I shall do what I can. ;)
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kitrosemon13
Gender Female
Points 1057
Reviews 63
Sat Jun 19, 2010 3:27 pm
kitrosemon13 says... · Sat Jun 19, 2010 3:27 pm
No, I wrote this by myself. (: I do not copy others, I think it is a bit trashy.
Pain is beautiful, when you feel pain you know you're alive. -Criss Angel
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nova
Gender Male
Points 14535
Reviews 78
Sat Jun 19, 2010 9:36 pm
nova says... · Sat Jun 19, 2010 9:36 pm
Sorry :)

M.H.Darling sounded like an author I knew!
Alot of the time, im on here using my PS3 & my trusty usb keyboard.
Dont expect much fancy quoting blocks... I shall do what I can. ;)
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nayex
Gender Female
Points 1808
Reviews 10
Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:48 am
nayex says... · Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:48 am
what first got me to read this was your title, no offense but i was let down.
you could do a lot better.
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6 posts


I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom