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Last edited by randomer on Sat Apr 09, 2011 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Gender Female
Points 4996
Reviews 107
Not really my style but it's very well written! No spelling or grammatical mistakes that I could catch. Your MC reminds me of a friend of mine(a lot!) and so I was able to connect to it. Taking bottles of dye and doing her own hair was totally something she would do lol.
Not having read any other chapters, I don't have much to comment about but I will say Iam slightly curious to find out more about Luke and the Shadow Room.
Other than that your dialogue is good and your descriptions of the old house were great! I love the line about the house wheezing it's last wheeze :D

Good writing, keep it up!
~day
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." ~courtesy of one of history's funniest men, Groucho Marx. ^_^



Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
— Apple Inc.