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Really, really good! I also love how it all turns to be a dream. The dialogue was great. Realistic without being dull. And your use of descriptive language was just ...

Thank you for your review azntwinz2, it definately helps to get that kind of feedback. I'll discuss your comments with my friend. Thanks for being so thorough :) ..:Ced:..

What a sweet story. You did a really good job to come up with that concept. Having such a creative imagination is a key part in being a great writer. ...

I just want to say good on you. As many of the above reviewers have stated, I too am a Christian. I love that you write about your faith, how ...

Hey there, Well I definately think you have a good concept for a story here, and it's something you should pursue. I'll just point out a few of the things ...

Lying on her back in the cool grass, S’harani soaked up the dappled sunlight that filtered through the trees to warm her body. Despite their hot, dry summer, this one ...

Nice story. The sentences felt choppy and disjointed though. They didn't flow, which made it difficult to pay attention to and understand this piece. I don't really know what significance ...

I really enjoyed reading this story. Did you create the idea yourself or is it an old story that you've re-invented? I only noticed one or two things that I ...

Hey OhSoSqueamish, nice story. One little thing I picked up on was: As she leaned over her work, a crucifix on a thin silver chain fell out of her shirt. ...

Nooo that's so sad. I read the last one were he was MIA and I was so happy at the beginning of this story to see that he was alive! ...

Oh God, I got goosebumps. That was so well written. It was very emotional and thought-provoking to read. Well done. No criticism from me. :)

An extremely cool concept. I hope you turn this into a series of short stories. I assume they would be about all the different 'forgottens' and their stories? I hope ...

I really liked this piece. Don't insult yourself by telling us it isn't very good. As you can see from the comments, it was very good and you are a ...

Muuuch better. That certainly made all the difference :) We still didn't explore the mystery surrounding her parents deaths but I think that just adds to the intrigue, which is ...

Oh Wow! I love that twist at the end :) Nice story. I noticed a few spelling and grammatical errors here and there but they're easy to fix. I liked ...