90skids

I like this so far. It's quite an interesting storyline. One of the things I picked up on was that some of your sentences, especially the dialogue, are slightly wooden. ...

'Le fleur de chardon wasn't a big tavern but it was a lovely place to have a drink with some friends.' This is quite a boring way to start a ...

I haven't read the first chapter yet so I apologise if I ask any questions which get answered in the first chapter. I really like this so far but one ...

Ok, I like this so far. I think that, for a first chapter, it's very engaging and good at drawing the reader in. However, I'm just going to pick up ...

I haven't read the previous few chapters but after reading this, I think I'm going to have to. One thing I am going to say though is that, there seems ...

I like the setting for this and I suspect it might be Rick Riordan inspired. Forgive me if I'm wrong. I like the description as well as they way you've ...

I like the tone of this piece. I think that the way you started the piece is really effective. I like the almost bitter way you write about the way ...

After reading this, I've decided that I'm going to have to go back and read the previous few chapters. I love it! The thing I found with this piece is ...

I'm going to start by admitting that I haven't read the previous chapters yet so I apologise if I ask questions which are answered earlier in the book. 'Clacking of ...

I'll admit now that I haven't read the previous chapters but now I think I might have to. I like the way that it just jumps straight into the scene ...