Aisho

I really enjoyed reading about the violinists; I could almost hear their playing. Wonderful, wonderful job. Twinflower did the nit-picking, so there's not much for me to say about this ...

Your grammar and your spelling needs work, but other than that, this was excellent. You managed to introduce us into a completely alien world and still make it feel as ...

This has been pretty well worked over, so I'm not going to further pick apart your prologue -- but I will say this. Don't abandon your prologue yet, simply consider ...

I ... love it. No, that's not a strong enough word. I'm not sure what to say, except that this is an *amazing* piece. This is the first time in ...

I like the idea of a literal tree house, and I *love* that they're called the Tors. I don't know why, but that really appeals to me. My only criticsm ...

I'm no expert on poetry, but I will say this: I felt the first far more strongly than I felt the second. I understood what you were feeling -- but ...

Your imagery is brilliant. I loved it!! The only discrepancy I could find was that you initially described the waves a forceful and crashing, yattayattayatta, but a few paragraphs later ...

Pfffft. What happened to more Brad/Kiera? I'm obscenely enthralled by those two. :D I am *such* a sucker for a good romance. Not to mention I love the idea of ...

I want you to go back and reread it slooowly and caaaarefully. Inch by agonizing inch. lol You had a lot of grammar mistakes, not that I cared. The net ...

It was really good. I like cliche, and while yes, it kind of was, it was AWESOME CLICHE. :D Moral should be mortal. As in mortal danger--not moral danger. "Ye ...

You certainly have a lot going for you--your ability to connect with the reader is well developed. This is where you should STOP. Stop writing descriptively and start thinking about ...

okayokayokay I think you know what I'm gonna say. TYPOS AND REPEPITION AND TYPOS AND BLAHBLAHBLAH --- forget all that other stuff, this was great! :D There *were* a ton ...

YES! DRAGONS! *love* They brought me hear after I attempted to escape. I'm sure you meant here . ;) Although I’m not sure weather I will be able to be ...

Our guard quickly kicked open the door, his years of being a soldier kicking in. Well. Let's have a talk about repetition, shall we? Kicked and kicking in the same ...

This was a very 2-D introduction--I felt little connection to anything you wrote. This had more to do with the fact that your characters were faceless than the fact that ...