Ares

All my friends in Colorado got a delayed start to school. Too bad the snow didn't reach central Indiana...

OOC: Dan>> Okay. I was busy for awhile, sorry guys. Uhm, here's a nice big post to speed things up though. Brewer took in Kobi's speach. "Are Santana and me ...

Cool, but not my taste. 6/10

Hey dude, glad you made it! PM if you need help navigating the board.

Brewer nodded in the direction of the new guy and then sat down as the jet's engines fired up and the aircraft took off. OOC: Sorry I've been gone guys.

Duhm duhm duhm. Is this the story you told me about? It's cool. There's a typo in the second sentence though.

OOC: I don't think so. And whoa dang! We have a jet!

Greetings! I'm MH, supposedly 17, and I write pretty much everything except romanitc fiction and poems. I like action. Action's good. Nice to meet you.

I'll try to read some of it later. So far, my critique is as follows: Stop saying Fen all the time.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Go Nemo!

Elizabeth>> Shhhhh. Welcome hero_killer. Cool name. Usually I'm anti-emo but I look forward to seeing some of your stuff. -MH

It is long. That might be why there aren't so many takers. I'd tell you that I'd read it but uhm...well...I lie. It doesn't look too bad, I bet if ...

I've sped up the story and edited my post. Tell me if that's a problem.

It flows so well. No joke. I'd break it up some more, and maybe make it a little easier for the reader to keep track of who's talking. It's good ...

Add more, there's hardly anything there. Elaborate!