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AutumnSun

  • Other Poetry Re: Alone

    It seems to be lacking something. I think the repetition throws me off. I would suggest more imagery but the emotion is strong so good job on that. I think ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Do you...

    I can sense the pain. I like how the topic is serious but it is simply written. It works but there are a few repetitions. I would suggest you expand ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: That one lunch.

    The story was kind of interesting and I can see it turning into something great! You left me in suspense but there are a few spelling errors that distract me. ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: The Beauty and the Boy

    As an hopeless romantic, I am attracted to these kind of stories. I thought was great but it moved so quickly. I would suggest adding more emotion and details. It ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Stronger Now

    The first day I found myself alone is when I started to grow I thought I needed you to survive Now you're gone, I never felt so alive I realize ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Ball and Chain

    She was exhausted, her eye lids heavy with sleep. The sleepy/hurt feeling spread to her head as she rubbed her temples a useless attempt to subside the pain. Girl closes ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Prologue of 'Bloody Canvas'

    I like how you set up a good image. You are obviously talented. I liked "numbness spread through his body like an icy poison" I would love to read more ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • General Articles Re: The Story (PG-13 for sensitive subject)

    By the way, talking about how your two identities were fused together, I liked that.

    Jun 30, 2010
  • General Articles Re: The Story (PG-13 for sensitive subject)

    I am literally a bit teary eyed right now. I actually had to stop typing for a few seconds. This piece was so moving. Intense subject but simply told. The ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • General Articles Re: Essay for college

    I read this as if I were the one who accepts you into college, as if I were an administrator. I liked the first few lines because you were honest, ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Spread Love Like Violence

    Great and inspirational! I enjoyed it. The only thing that distracted me was the repetition. I found it a bit annoying. If you either changed those lines or got rid ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: The Hideous Expression of Love

    There were a few spelling mistakes that distracted me from the story but not enough to enjoy it. Your description of the man was almost a turn off, but it ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: A Pillar of Salt

    Wow! That was incredible! It was abstract and that's why I liked it! It was short and I wanted to know more. I felt left in suspense but that may ...

    Jun 29, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: That Summer

    ...wow...

    Jun 28, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: A Body Shot

    I had to read that twice. I almost missed the double meaning. I feel like the dragon was a symbol for something. I like how this story is so obvious ...

    Jun 28, 2010


I wonder if people felt the freedom in our culture to love louder, if they'd be quicker to say "I miss you" when the absence of someone is felt instead of just thinking it.
— soundofmind