BFG

Wow, this is fantastic. I loved the surreal quality of the beginning, and the description of the scene at the end was great. I really like how you don't come ...

This had a very complete feel to it. I liked the details, the specific examples at the beginning. Very nicely done. Part of me felt the ending was a little ...

The first stanza was good, but after that it completely deteriorated thanks to the rhyming. Don't give up on rhyming poems (though it's fine to experiment with non-lyric freeverse, and ...

Yes, I agree, rhythm would be a nice addition to this poem. And take out the rhyme in the second and third lines - it's out of place. This seems ...

I agree with cadmium. I would love to see your writing talents applied to better subject matter. Try something small, simple, easy, and tangible - a sneaker, for instance, or ...

I agree with Hunter. This needs a thorough edit, not only for apostrophes but also for those places where you've mixed up periods and commas, not finished a sentence, made ...

Thanks, guys! I was having trouble getting this poem to move - I agree that it's too heavily loaded with adjectives, too wordy. I was so focused on the image ...

Have you ever read the Lost Years of Merlin series by T.A. Barron? In the in-between-earth-and-heaven land of Fincayra, they find constellations using the points in between the stars. It ...

Very nice. I loved the last verse, especially: Paper-thin is the threshold Between these two Worlds And when again the reality of Sensation Meets the Hope of Imagination, I hope ...

A little too blatantly religious for me, but then again I'm an aetheist, so what do I know. Still, religious poems have a tendency to say the same thing - ...

Out of the well-oiled body slide sleek, dark chocolate blades, churning gold-wrought wavering circles in the grey-greeny shadows of the glades. The crackle-paint feet are revving, the bubbles are issu

Ok... it's not a new topic, but obviously an important one to adress... but I would like to see some new imagery here, some more personal feelings, maybe even a ...

Oh, I love snakes. And I like this poem, particularly this bit: his neck stiffening, and he stared me straight in the eye. He struck then, his gummy nubs for ...

Though Roman is even more of a romance language...anyway, getting distracted. I get the whole sexual reference thing, and it does sort of radiate that subtley... like the tempo of ...

Once again, plaigarized from Stone Soup. :cry: