User avatar

BFG

BFG

  • Other Poetry Re: Wordmaker

    I like it. I kept imagining little elves writing in big books, like the shoemaker's elves only the bookmaker's elves, crossed with the Borrowers, singing out this chant like slaves ...

    Nov 20, 2006
  • Other Poetry Re: Beggars and Choosers

    The scars of many years’ blind doors stain her ragged face. And he on the top step looks down I liked, it particularly these two lines. The perspective is a ...

    Nov 20, 2006
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Arsonist's Land

    Thank you for reading and replying! The criticism was very helpful. I went back and made some changes... like putting spaces in the chunk of text... :wink: yeah, this is ...

    Nov 20, 2006
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: My Friend John

    I also somewhat liked it, though not as a story. I liked it the way I might like one of those strange, trying-too-hard-to-be-original, freaky-weird, plotless videos that art students have ...

    Nov 20, 2006
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Lonely

    I like this poem a lot. It's short and simple and very modest. I particularly like the images conjured up by the first stanza. I had a very clearly defined ...

    Nov 19, 2006
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Popular

    Some are kind, generous, and nice. They would never treat someone like ice. some of the rhymes sounded forced. try to make the rhyme natural, and fitting the line - ...

    Nov 19, 2006
  • Other Poetry Re: your kisses

    lexy, line breaks are as important as the words you choose (very important). read the poem out loud to yourself, putting in the pauses wherever there's a linebreak. linebreaks aren't ...

    Nov 18, 2006
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: White Out, Black Out

    I like it. Winter pale, the line of ribs below your strong shoulders rise gently with each inhalation. Perhaps a comma after shoulders? I found I had to read this ...

    Nov 18, 2006
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: the abandoned

    melancholy, in a beautiful sense. and inspiring - it makes me want to continue the tradition of lonely words. very well-written. you took a good idea and pulled it off ...

    Nov 16, 2006
  • Other Poetry Re: The Incan Shark

    beautifully put. i love it.

    Nov 16, 2006
  • Other Poetry Re: Remember When....

    i liked that it was so short, and didn't mention roses or tears or blood or flame or anything like that. i liked that it was direct and to the ...

    Nov 16, 2006
  • Other Poetry Re: Remember?

    it was just about a time a few friends and i were enjoying a rainy day by running in the woods and all over the campus where our parents work, ...

    Nov 16, 2006
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Against the world

    good idea, taking a 'world is against me' attitude and blowing it up, but after about the first stanza i was just thinking, 'okay, i get the picture... then what ...

    Nov 16, 2006
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Rebel with nothing to fight

    good idea. try to work in more concrete imagery - picture details in your mind, then think how you can use them to communicate your atmosphere or move your plot ...

    Nov 15, 2006
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Arsonist's Land

    Arsonist's Land The thirteenth of November and already it was dark by five. I played on the computer for a while after school until I heard the dog whining and ...

    Nov 15, 2006


If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
— Neil Gaiman