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Barbilo

  • Short Story » Teen Fiction, Fantasy Re: Half Souls (Day 1-2)

    Hi Musicandme, your story has great detail, potential for growth and some mystery about it, which is very good. Here is my review: - Paragraphs. The words are chunked together ...

    Feb 22, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Romantic Re: Blackbird Singing chapter 6

    The beauty of fanfiction. I love Harry Potter and was excited to read this twist. Here's my review: - Even though this is fan fiction, the story still needs clarity. ...

    Feb 22, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: Gray : Present Four

    This chapter is promising and full of conflict. My review: The only issue is that everything is happening so fast that the reader has no time or knowledge of the ...

    Feb 21, 2015
  • Article / Essay » Science, Technology Re: The International Space Station

    Hi Firelight, this is the first piece I have ever read about ISS so well done for writing it. It is a great piece, informative and easy to follow. My ...

    Feb 21, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, Health Re: Another truth: The real thing

    I like this poem, everyone has to know where true love comes from, within and not outside. My review: The first part of the poem focuses on beauty ideals yet ...

    Feb 21, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Weeping Willow (Prologue)

    What an interesting piece. You were able to captivate the reader because now everyone wants to know the guys story. It's a good story. Here's my review: - Avoid too ...

    Feb 21, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Horror, Romantic Re: The Botanist -- An Experimental Chapter, Part 2 (Shortened)

    Hello Sherri, I haven't read part one so my review will be about this piece. The story is solid but it seems to be very slow moving. You describe Aether ...

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Supernatural Re: Unknown Entity

    Hello Krosis, you've got a very promising story. However, there is a lot you have to work on in order to make it catch the readers attention. Here's is my ...

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Icarus

    What a tragic beautiful piece. The poem is good but you can work on this to make it better - Capitalize the first word in each sentence. This is very ...

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, Literature Re: The light among darkness!

    Hi Kimmiiee, Very inspiring piece, motivational and symbolic. A few things you can improve about it are: - Punctuation. Make sure the punctuation is not spaced out from the last ...

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: The Psychic Circle: Chapter 3

    Now on Chapter 3. I like how the chapters are short and each full of action, that's great to keep readers going. Some reviews: - Continuity. Every chapter is like ...

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Lyrics » Romantic, Lyrical Re: Run Away With Me

    Awesome voice. Interesting lyrics. The most inspiring songs are those that come from personal experience. I love the chorus most. The only critic I could give, only because this is ...

    Feb 19, 2015
  • Other » Other, General Re: I'm sorry that I lied to both you and me

    Interesting piece Danceingtreelf, I have a friend who is going through exactly what you are going through. Believe me, it will get better but in the mean time, allow the ...

    Feb 19, 2015
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: Green Imperialism (available for a limited time only!)

    The first piece I have ever read set in Malawi, even Africa. Well done Etherealember. It's a work of genius, very fresh and I hope you develop the story to ...

    Feb 18, 2015
  • Article / Essay » Realistic, General Re: What do YOU think?

    Hello Silverlady, The essay was well written. It is good, I love how you added the Hindi part and just when I was getting to it, it ended. The essay ...

    Feb 18, 2015


The only distinction that makes one a hero is constantly fighting back your villain arc.
— RangerofIthilien