Barrio

This doesn't actually feel like real diary entries. It's too robotic, diary entries are usually scattered in their ideas, very train of thought like. And this, well, too rigid and ...

I would definitely have to say 'Slaughterhouse 5' by Vonnegut. I have no idea what the hell is wrog with that man, but it skips decades just about every chapter, ...

Ok, thanks for all the critiques and i've taken them all into consideration. I've finally updated it and changed around a few things, even spaced it out so as to ...

Now for me, just me, this character seems bland and unoriginal. She says she's creative, but it comes off as a monotonal way of speaking and doesn't interest me at ...

Well, i got that. It has sort of a Ring Lardner feel to it. But if not, then no. Just how i got it.

"And then one Tuesday morning, and exactly nine o’clock, someone knocked five times on the door." I think you mean "at exactly nine.." I don't really know what else, i ...

You know this is one of the few first-person pieces that i've read and i really liked it. I don't think that all of monologue's were entirely realistic. I don't ...

I'm confused by the plot, is there a plot?

I've come to ignore how it was written because pieces like this are always done and generic. This being said, i don't think i saw one bit of originality in ...

Yer no, that was really good. I do have one thing to say, Australian's go by the U.K spelling, so "flavors" is a definite no-no.

I think this story is written pretty well and you have a pretty odd style, which is good. The one thing i have to ask because it is written in ...

I actually liked it. I think that you could a bit more detail. It seems pretty promising as a humourous piece and i think you should change "Smoking kills" to ...