Bella

**I"M BACK!!! WARNING~ This is both my characters at once, so it's in third person. That way I can get what I want to get done done, at a decent ...

Valentina~ I watched Natan carefully, knowing he didnt' want to talk to me. I sat against a far tree, curled up into a ball. I watched as Natan helped the ...

**Shame on my double post!!** Isabella~ "Sorry, shouldn't have said that," Max said. I turned to face him, wincing at the pain in my ankle. "No, it's fine." "You seemed ...

Valentina~ Even as I fell to my knees, I knew what I was doing was horrible. Dammit...why was I such a bad person? The sheild hit me hard, pushing me ...

***Okay, I missed the fight scene, so I'm throwing my characters in as after the fight*** Isabella~ I limped through what had become a small battle field, checking to make ...

This poem was good -- I really liked it! For some reason the way it contradicted itself every few lines really appealed to me. Bravo! Merry Writing! ~Bella~

Personally, I really REALLY liked this poem. Just a few little things... as Twinflower said, you need to put in some appostraphes and commas in. That might make the flow ...

*claps* Good Job Suzanne!!!! ^ - ^ ~Bella~

"If you're a member of the National Defence reserve, you may not miss taking part in a scheduled parade. The penalty is $25 to $50" But...what if you're really REALLY ...

**I'm pulling out, all! I'm extremely confused, and can't figure out quite where this storybook is going. Sorry!**

This doesn't seem very...poem-y to me. It just seems like a bunch of random sentences shoved together. No offense, but it's kind of annoying.... Happy Writing! ~Bella*Maria~ PS I love ...

First the simple stuff~ her lonley heart sinking should be "lonely" As do her soul. should be "does" She contiues to push back her thoughts should be "continues" This may ...

kind of confuses me to some extent. It sounds kind of like a love poem, but at the same time a heart break poem. Perhaps it is a love poem ...

Hmm...I think the idea was good, but it could be worked with a bit more. I don't know that I cared much for the rhythm of your poem, the way ...

No promises on not hitting you, Mad. (and since when did I care what Mr. Falke thought? He's not an English Professor! He teaches keyboarding!) Thanks for all the crits ...