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BenFranks

BenFranks

  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: hispaniola

    Hey Kylan! I think what you've done best here is given the reader beautiful selections of language and imagery. I think the biggest nitpick is a bit like waht Firestarter ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Man Below My Terrace

    Hey there! Your colour in language choice is truly exceptional! I especially enjoyed the gripping of these two lines: And the moon has gone a-hiding And the birds have ceased ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: 26,000

    Hey there! The reason why this was good (and I don't mean to be harsh but it probably is the only reason...) is that it made me smile. If it ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Keeper of the Stones: Black Dragons (0)

    Hey there! I rarely go onto fantasy fiction so what a delight it was to be treated with something like this when I did! I think your characters have already ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: my life story - short version

    ~ Note: Rate this 16+ for strong language. Hello! I'm really sorry. Reading this is kind of saddening and its one of those stories that in a way you don't ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: My Beast

    'Ullo Howler! Well, this is , er, original. The reason why I have an unsurity is because although I think the concept is brilliant, I was a little confused with ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Fallen Apple

    Hey there! I see you've mentioned you're making edits on clarifying the conveyed message, so I guess I don't need to say anything there. XD But if you were wondering ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Dishwasher's Bane

    Hey there! I think that was an interesting read. What I will say though is that content wise I'm not really goign away with anything. I realise that the poem ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Moonlight Calling

    Hey there! Welcome to YWS! What a brilliant poem! That was stunningly powerful . At first I was a bit bewildered by the message you were getting across and I'm ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Young Love... Pfft?

    Hey there Timmy! I have to say that your opening is absolutely brilliant! I used to be a nonbeliever, I doubted every notion. I think the "doubted every notion" is ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: king Midas

    Hey. I enjoyed this but give it a good thorough edit because I think in some points the fluency was disrupted by the lack of punctuation. It also slightly changed ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Forever Lost

    juts typo XD Anyway the poem! (Hi, by the way) I think the second line of your poem is a little forced in rhyme. As much as I get the ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Little Bird

    Hey there. I like the sweetness in the message and effect of simplicity conveyed. It was inticing. What I will say though, is a little like Lydia's mentioned, you need ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Religion

    Hey dreamy, I liked this poem mainly due to rhythm and fluency. Thus, it was well punctuated :) It is just little things like this that could do with that ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Tick Tock

    Hey there! Like Matt said there's a strong reliance on font and colour. However in my opinion this is good. I think this shows a take of your own poetry. ...

    Jan 31, 2010


If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
— Neil Gaiman