BerlynnRae

Loved it! But I did find two errors that I need to address: First "Please, stop... I thought as the car revved along the motorway. Bizarre sounds came from the ...

To answer the first reviewer "Nurses fingers" Are in fact confusing and I can't think of anything that describes the healing touch of physical in relation to a tree. To ...

Gryffindor13: I wanted my readers to fill in the character. I find that when I am reading a story about a girl with red hair I find it hard to ...

I re-did it and am in the process of editing it but I had to pre-maturely save

So are you judging the contest?

Its exactly 1999 characters long. The contest form said 2000 characters

P.S. This is my first sci-fi ever. so please be nice about the technical things. :) thanks again!

This is a sci-fi I'm writing for a friend. I have to hand it to him by May 5th which means that it has to be edited before then. PLEASE ...

Thanks and there are two reasons for the dash A) I wrote this originally on a text so you couldn't see where one thought started and another ended. B) I ...

Thanks all I have been thinking about all of your comments and I am editing this chapter hopefully soon when I get a chance. Thanks for the tips.

I posted the first chapter for anyone who would like to comment. I will edit it as soon as I get a chance.

I agree with Mysty. It sounds like a story-line. like your telling me the plot. now that you've got the basic idea go for the dialogue. besides that loved it! ...