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Celdover

  • Science-Fiction Short Stories Re: Desolate City

    The first thing that jumps out at me is how dull this piece is. Now I'm confident that you were attempting to go for a dull and bleak environment considering ...

    Aug 17, 2011
  • Other Poetry Re: Night Before Summer

    Hello there! I'm Dover and I shall be reviewing you today. I like how you did your best to capture the feel of the outdoors, but I feel like that ...

    May 17, 2011
  • Other Re: Romeo & Juliet: Instant Messaging Edition

    This was so totally an English assignment. Act I: Tibalt and Juliet Tibalt: Yo, Juliet. Juliet: ‘Sup, cuz? Tibalt: Wel I wuz ch@n wit Abraham n do u wnt to ...

    May 16, 2011
  • Lounge, The Re: We Shall Pen [Now with Guide Track!]

    Good thing I have strep throat. Lumi, your strep throat should be long gone by now. Where's your recording? ;P

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Fantasy Novels Re: Resident hate

    Hi there! I'm Dover and I shall be reviewing you today. The first thing that struck me about this piece was its vagueness. Who are these gladiators? The man? The ...

    Feb 21, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Silver Lake

    Hey there! I am going to agree with everything leebass said before. The lines about the cellphones and the birds was my favorite part, and I also agree that the ...

    Nov 12, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Never Trust A G.P.S.

    Hello there! I really enjoyed this lighthearted piece. It's short and sweet and reminded me of a few instances where some of my teachers got angry at their G.P.S.s for ...

    Nov 12, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: I Am Me

    Hello there. I shall be reviewing you today. (: I'd like to start off with that there's nothing enormous that jumped out at me technically speaking. The choice of vocabulary ...

    Sep 17, 2010
  • Science-Fiction Novels Re: Paragon, Pro.

    Hello there. To be honest, this really didn't draw me in to your story. It rambles quite a lot on a philosophical question and giving exposition all the while. We're ...

    Jul 19, 2010
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Soulless, Chapter 3

    Also reviewing a bit of chapter two in this one. I take it you'll be consistent with only changing viewpoints at each chapter? If so, then your viewpoint shifting is ...

    Jul 10, 2010
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Sunglasses: Chapter One

    Ask, and you shall receive. To be perfectly honest, I found this to be very dull and predictable. I see your standard teenager about to get into some trouble with ...

    Jul 9, 2010
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Soulless, Chapter 1

    Hello there. Nice to meet you. I like the historical and artistic aspects of this piece and how you show how the characters feel about them. Passionate and protective, intrigued, ...

    Jul 8, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: My worst fear.

    Hi there. I'd like to start with agreeing with Lavvi on your dialogue and verb tenses, the tenses first because they're more of a problem. It's not so much you're ...

    Jul 8, 2010
  • Fantasy Novels Re: Sky'Breaker

    Hello there! I certainly like the interesting setup you have here and how you're trying to establish a different culture. I can see you're trying to have a naming convention ...

    Jul 5, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Diamond Sky Sinners [01]

    Hello. This was a nice and calm read. I think you did a good job displaying Sarah and Chelsea's emotions in the moment and how they felt about the summer ...

    Jul 1, 2010


while she was studying the ways of pasta he was studying the ways of the sword
— soundofmind