Cotton

hellooo :D I'm better at picking on minute matters of grammar and sentence structure, so my comments on your story in general will probably be somewhat limited :P I thought ...

bonjour :D This is ace. Pure and simple. I could list all the best bits, and I think I will: from the very, very beginning, your narrator's voice is clear, ...

helloo! A lovely bite-sized snippet of an opener (I like short things - I think we're going to get on swimmingly :P) with some really intriguing descriptions and ideas being ...

hi... I reviewed this piece the other day. Or I should say, the other copy of this piece you have on the website. Did you do that intentionally, because you ...

hi there. I have to agree with the above reviewer's opinion on your grammar, punctuation etc. Just to ask - is English your first language? If it's not, then I ...

here as requested :D you create a really nice rhythm here, and I like the evenness of your lines. That's more or less as deep as I'll go with you, ...

Hi there :) I agree with the above review - your use of details and sense of emotions are really, really good. Particularly vivid, which is nice. You also drop ...

HAHAHAHAHAHA I actually lol'd. properly... to myself :P one critique: can you make this longer?!? PLEASE?!? teehehehe how about the rest of the books? ~*cottonrulz*~

hi there :) I see you're new to YWS, so have a great big welcome from me :D everyone's really friendly and they give some fantastic advice. Something you probably ...

hi there :) I liked how you spun the looming sadness and stuff into the whole piece, but I think at times you did this a little too much instead ...

my my my. The quality of work to be found on this site continually amazes me! (Also, where it says your age is "14", that's a joke, right? It's not ...

hi there :) welcome to YWS! I see you're quite new, so I hope you are settling in all right (of course you are, it's lovely here!) I'm not sure ...

hi there :) So yeah I had a skim through the previous reviews and I think they have a point - although, I see your wish to keep an aura ...

hey... yeah this is weird, but I'm gathering that the contest is to shrink a piece of writing so it is barely intelligible? Or so that people who are addicted ...

hey :D This will probably sound harsher than I mean it to, but I thought that your character's voice was kind of confused in places, and this made reading it ...