Cspr

Hey, Captain Nitpick (otherwise known as Cspr) here and I'm breezing through to review. First off, nice job at the title--and drawing me in. Normally I'm either put off by ...

Huh. So, this was very interesting. While I agree with the person above--a lack of action, perhaps; too much build up--you did do one thing right. You did show redemption. ...

Wow. Very nice poem there. The first two stanzas had my breath bated and everything. Very--dark, I suppose. And I quite like dark. It made me think of some fantasy ...

Okay, so, Captain Nitpick here. I'm afraid I'm going to be a mite harsher than usual. Be aware I'm not the master of poetry, though. Um, yes. Anyway. The first ...

Very pretty. It has a simple rhythm, a simple rhyme, but you did well at choosing words. You made it seem very--child-like, which definitely is a compliment, by the way. ...

So, this was pretty fun. Hannah was an interesting character--one who caught your eye. While she appeared usual the way you weaved in the reasons why she was so tense ...

Wow. So . . . I really like this! It draws you in, gets you interested in what is going on with the kid--he has two somebodies that might care ...

This was quite good for a short story. Personally, I would have liked more info--but more info would probably have led it to be fanfiction-y. You can't do much with ...

Hello! Cspr here and ready to review. First off, I'll say I'm liking this. I definitely get the feel of what's going on, which matters a lot to me. Now, ...

Some edits that may or may not help you: Sing, I love to sing, Day in, day out, I open my mouth, And out comes a note, Straight out my ...

Wow! So I'm still liking it. Not as surprising as the last chapter (or would it be 'action-filled'?), but I'm liking where it's going. I hope you'll have a new ...

First off, I have to say I really like this. While some points are confusing and, yes, there are a few mild info dumps, I quite like the whole idea. ...

Hm. Curious. I haven't read the rest of the novel, but I can say this prologue is well-written, but not very...effective? I don't know. It doesn't precisely grab my attention. ...

Okay, Skins, this is fexcellent. Very emotional, but not as far-fetched angsty as most 'suicide' stories I read are. (They're always like: "But you have so much to live for!" ...

Quite morbid, this. Not sure what to do with it. Interesting, but horrendous (not the writing, the topic). Sharp, brutal, quick. Nice traits for a short story. Unfortunately, I never ...