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DisturbedDisorder

  • Other Poetry Re: Do angels cry in heaven?

    Hi There!~ This was such a touching and sad story, but it was good. The emotion was strong, and I like how you twisted it at the end to be ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Dreams.

    Hi There!~ Well, Lil_Pau took care of mostly everything, so I'll just skip to what I liked. ^.^ The emotion was really...sad in this poem. It was almost like you ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Do you...

    Hi There!~ So, I first want to say that emotion of this story is strong. You can really feel the hurt. Even thought the emotion is strong, though, it doesn't ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Imagine...

    What if you could change your shape, Simply by command? Maybe you'd become a little crab, Crawling through the hot beach sand. Maybe you'd prefer to be a lion, It's ...

    Jul 1, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: i've fallen in love with the man in the moon

    Hi There!~ It was actually really amazing...I'm not sure what else to say, which I know isn't helpful because people post stuff on here to get hints of things to ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Into the Abyss

    Hi There!~ The story seems a little fast moving, and I agree with the rhyming being forced. There was grammatical error, but I'm sure you can find that on your ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: breathe

    Hey there~ I think it was good, and the meaning of the poem was really nice, but the flow seemed to be fragmented in a few places. It seemed almost ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: After you finally contact me

    Hi there!~ I agree with both people who reviewed before me. Yes, the whole poem is generally "I did x," but don't worry, I have a problem with that with ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Perspicillum

    Hi there!~ Hooray! for extended metaphors!! ^.^ Sorry, I love metaphors. But anyway, it was a good poem, and I think that comparing life to (what I'm pretty sure is) ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Narrative Poetry Re: His Living Nightmare

    Hi There!~ So, I think it was interesting poem, but I got a little lost at the part about the wings and the table...Maybe you could try explaining what's happening ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Abracadabra (Edited)

    Hi There!~ So first off, I loved how you italicized the words at the beginning of every stanza. I know other people already said that, but I wanted to make ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Undying Love

    Hey there~ This was really short and didn't really get into the feelings of undying love. Really all there was was a few metaphors, but no real feelings. It would ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Stronger Now

    Hey there!~ Okay, so I'll start by saying that I loved it! The emotion was really strong and through the whole thing I was imagining like a broken hearted girl ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Depression

    Oh no, It wasn't supposed to be this way! What do I do when people ask of her? What am I supposed to say? Do I lie, And say that ...

    Jun 30, 2010
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: The Sacrifice

    Hey, So I have a couple of things to say. First (and this is probably just me), but I feel like your trying too hard to add details, especially in ...

    Jun 30, 2010


More than anything she wanted the world to be uncomplicated, for right and wrong to be as easily divided as the black and white sections of an Oreo. But the world was not a cookie.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes