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Elinor

Elinor

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Colors

    Hey there! I'll say I have to agree with Jagged here; you take an interesting idea with a lot of potential and then sell it short. I had just a ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: An Apology and a Curse.

    :cry: Oh, Sammi! I had no idea things were so bad. *hugs* I thought this letter was well-written. I could really feel the emotion that it took to write this, ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Forgot to make dinner.

    Hi Fizza! This was okay, but your beginning needs a lot of work. It's a little too vague, and it just consists of sentence after sentence of actions that lack ...

    Apr 13, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Young Prodigy

    Bailey, I will say that you've got a decent start. Your idea for this fresh and original, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into this- the ...

    Apr 13, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: When we Met

    This was...all over the place. Even the idea of it is cliche. You don't develop your characters enough; they're cardboard cutouts who I don't care about in the slightest. Right ...

    Apr 12, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Acceptance

    Hey, Zoray! As a standalone story, this really didn't do much for me. It just seemed like a cliché fight scene with a cliché follow-up and a corny ending. James ...

    Apr 12, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Hedgehog

    Hey Fizza, and welcome to YWS! Remember me from your welcome thread? ;) Okay, so! This was okay. It needs to be cleaned up a little, but I definitely think ...

    Apr 12, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I Loved Him

    Hey firelight, and welcome to YWS! I don't think the repetition here really does you any good. Sometimes repetition can work, but here it's just mundane and really bogs done ...

    Apr 12, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: See The Shape

    What happened? Your other poem was so good and this It's cliché from the very beginning and not as touching as I think it should be. Poems about love and ...

    Apr 11, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Decay

    Hey! I liked this. It's really tough to write a villanelle, but I think you handled it quite nicely. It follows a compelling storyline, and the idea seems original and ...

    Apr 11, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Jump *edited*

    Hey Dreamy. I didn't enjoy this. It felt distant and choppy, like you had a bunch of random ideas and/or visions and decided to incorporate them into a story. The ...

    Apr 11, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: How to Seduce Money [1]

    Hey! This was just okay. I can't really tell where it's headed, though. It just seemed like a story of teenage angst where you shove your views about money are ...

    Apr 10, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Tea Party (revised)

    Hey kook! I like this poem about the Boston Tea Party. It had a nice ring to it, and it was funny. I just had a few comments. On the ...

    Apr 10, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Renegade children page 2

    Hey! I apologize in advance if the review is so short, but I only have one minor qualm. Your attempt to build suspense in this part is...failed, for the most ...

    Apr 10, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The Only One I'm Dreaming of.

    Hey! I'll say that it would be really hard to write an emotional and engaging story with compelling characters in six paragraphs, and I respect you for even attempting it. ...

    Apr 10, 2010


It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien