Elinor

Hey! I'm glad you appreciated the review. Anyway, the thing was that I wasn't sure. You mention "a lot happening", "all that we'd been through" and such, and it didn't ...

Evi -> It did, but I thought you said at the beginning that Lora was the narrator's older sister. I must have just misread.

No, I don't have any allergies, sorry. Maybe if you asked around at school or even here I bet you could find someone to talk to. :D

Sure! Just post in the thread below and I'll get right to it. :)

Hi Scarlett. Thanks for this critique. However, this is from November and I've already moved on from this story. While I value your advice, this is really old, so I'm ...

Guys, check the dates. This is over a year old.

Sure! Just PM me when you do. ;)

Thanks for the advice, everyone! I've removed the story and I'm going to go ahead and lock it while I'll edit. Then I'll re-post it once it's revised.

*EDITED*

*Edited*

Hmm, then maybe what you could do is put this in third person. What's happening right now is that I'm trying not to sympathize with the main character, but I ...

Olli, I'm going to be honest with you. Your first version was better. This one kind of just read like a badly cut, disjointed mess. I thought having one scene ...

Bailey, please. If this was a joke, why did you post it on YWS? Why didn't you note something in the original post? I don't think I believe you, because ...

Whoa, a lot take in. I'll PM you so this space can be used for other reviews. -Elinor

Oh, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Maybe you can add a little bit of specific info, because the terms you use are very general and could apply to both a ...