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ExOmelas

BiscuitsLeGuin

  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Humor Re: From State to State 1.1

    Well that answers my question! Nit-picks first: were people that you would use odd to describe This makes total sense on reflection but to help me get it faster I'd ...

    May 17, 2017
  • Article / Essay » Literature, Spiritual Re: "One of the most certain facts of History..."

    Hello there, I think you're missing a fairly crucial link here. Why is it that Jesus' death being ordered by Pontius Pilate makes it impossible that he could have been ...

    May 12, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Narrative Re: Practice inspired by Throne of glass

    Hey, I'll do some nit-picks first then into an overall discussion: I was too focused on well, that was the problem I was too focused on Dorian. This sentence is ...

    May 11, 2017
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Icarus

    Hey, I think I mentioned to you that I'm still getting practice at poetry reviews, so if you get the chance could you give me some feedback on this feedback? ...

    May 11, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Health Re: Chapter 1 - Jack

    Hey there, I'll just do some nit-picks first: Jack woke up for the third time and he turned his head to look blearily at the clock. This sounds a little ...

    May 9, 2017
  • Script » Realistic, Film Re: My Taken Right (Duologue)- edited

    Hi there, I have quite a lot to say about this and you've generally written it quite well so I won't bother with nit-picks. You're right, this is a very ...

    May 5, 2017
  • Poetry » Literature, Lyrical Re: A Black Girl's Tale (edited)

    Hey so, I don't usually review poetry, but I think it's time I learn how to do it properly. Just to warn you that this review might be a bit ...

    May 4, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Dramatic Re: Elderwood Chapter 1: Part 1

    Hey there, nit-picks first: I didn't believe those were her true words reflecting her emotions. This seems a bit technical for something that the character seems to be saying directly ...

    May 4, 2017
  • Short Story » Mystery / Suspense, Horror Re: Ghosts

    Hey, nit-picks first: Her face was gripped with a melancholy agony This is a little bit tell-y. Something about her face was twisted, grotesque, or something would be better. I ...

    May 3, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Other Re: Main Cell (Part 1)

    Hey Holy, nit-picks first: Tip-toeing closer and closer to main cell must have been. you need "where" between to and main. Also I don't think it makes sense to be ...

    May 3, 2017
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Essay Please Help

    Hello, this seems like a personal statement for application to university/college/apprenticeships/jobs etc? I'm going to treat it like that but if I'm wrong let me know. First of all this ...

    May 3, 2017
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, Romantic Re: "Seduction"

    Hey, since you're new I'll explain my review process so you know what I'm talking about when. First I'll do nit-picks, which is stuff I've noticed as I read along, ...

    May 2, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Fantasy Re: Scolopendra

    Hey Storm, sorry this took a little while. I'll give you my thoughts as I go through then add anything general afterwards. Your second paragraph: I think the speech is ...

    Feb 7, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Away--Chapter 3

    Hey again, here for a non-review day review, which will hopefully be less rushed and therefore fewer spelling errors! Nit-picks: I once had a client who was completely ungrateful This ...

    Jan 4, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Humor Re: Avery Trent - Chapter 4 (Ribbits and Rain)

    Nit-picks: Much,” Jason grabbed Avery’s handkerchief I'm fairly sure that comma should be a dash, but it's not that important. With less-good Avery looking on, confused, Avery had apologized. Don'

    Dec 29, 2016


Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.
— Neil Gaiman