User avatar

Explosive_Pen

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Monster

    Hi there. I agree with Galerius; there is too much importance placed on the rhyme scheme than on the actual coherence of the poem. The rhyme breaks the flow and ...

    Mar 23, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: A is For

    Hi Clo! I first read this a while ago, actually, but didn't feel as if I could give you a good review on it. But I noticed it in the ...

    Mar 20, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: FREAK

    Hi Snoink! I read it all the way through, and I loved it. I'm not a big sci-fi fan, but I do find myself wanting to read more. I like ...

    Feb 25, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Small Steps

    Twin! So my review on this will probably suck, but I know you asked me a while ago... And since you reviewed mah poem and all I guess I'm indebted. ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Tremors (For Haiti) - Edit

    Kamasss.

    Jan 23, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Leather Shoes

    Hi Kamas. ^^ It's been a while since I've brought myself to review something, so excuse me if I'm not much help. This was a pretty great poem, Kammy-chan. Just ...

    Dec 30, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Toilet Humour (1)

    Hi Sureal! This was a good read. A little, erm, vivid , but entertaining. Captain Classy and June already pointed out the things that I was going to. I thought ...

    Dec 17, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Matter Matters

    Hi there! Here as requested. that ...other I don't quite like the repetition of "each other," especially since in the next line you say "one another." Find another way to ...

    Dec 5, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: railroadsong

    Hi there Kylan! I don't think I've ever reviewed something of yours before (totally wasn't intimidated or anything silly like that...). I think you should capitalize your sentences. That's a ...

    Nov 26, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: How to save your life: Chap. 1, Part 2

    Hi there! Sorry this took so long. I haven't reviewed prose in a long time, and I haven't read the first part, but I'll do my best with what I ...

    Oct 10, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Nature's Callings

    Kammy-chan! *tacklepouncenoms* How dare you. You have talent. *paints the word 'talent' onto Kammy's face in big letters* Oh, and by the way, I didn't get a chance to congradulate ...

    Oct 4, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Cold Cuts (YWS-specific)

    xD Smorgishborg, you are brilliant. From being a fellow Vampire Weekend fan, to being the first to review my poem, to this? Fantastic-schmastic. I have very few negative comments about ...

    Sep 27, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Goodnight

    First of all, please use proper grammar. Everyone who passed second grade is required to punctuate properly. It's common courtesy, especially when posting it on a site filled with people ...

    Sep 20, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Pain gained, Love lost

    Hi there! I haven't seen you around before, so welcome to YWS. First of all, don't use unnecessary ellipses. (I think that's what they're called? If not, it's these: ... ...

    Sep 1, 2009
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: .

    Hi Rosey! I agree with Evi about the beginning. It seems to be a little forced and tell-y. It had started innocently enough. The abruptness of this sentence suggests foreshadowing. ...

    Aug 8, 2009


You don't need to follow me! You don't need to follow anybody! You got to think for yourselves!
— Brian Cohen