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Fellow

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Melosica - Prologue

    For a prologue this is well done but i would suggest to improve your descriptions. 1) I don't know your main idea so i suggest that the first part would ...

    Sep 5, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Delihla Bee-

    Ha ha. Good point there with the soft and warm bed! Its a very nice little story. It gives me that feeling that you wrote it when you were half-asleep ...

    Sep 5, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Autumn has come.

    Great idea! It a bitter-sweet feeling there that i like. I actually like the poem because it dosent have rhyme... The sand story of the ending of life. the violent ...

    Sep 5, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Saying Goodbye

    OK nice idea not saying anything about that, but indeed nothing is perfect as piepiemann22 said. Try avoiding repeating the same words in a big sentence as "each other - ...

    Sep 5, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: An Ode To Insanity

    I like it. The rhymes are fit. Overall its a nice poem. One problem ... This poem will fit a fantasy book when the main character is laying down on ...

    Sep 5, 2008
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Andrea Rider

    Ok. Here is what i think you should do. 1)- I would suggest you describe Andrea more. How she moved, why she was a super hero. Skinny - Eh she ...

    Sep 5, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Shadow Seeker

    Great! Your idea is very well "explained" if i may say so. I mean - you said everything that is to say about the feeling on that battleground and about ...

    Sep 4, 2008


I'll admit the two turtle doves are growing on me, but there are ten birds in this house already and we both know geese are feathered bioweapons of mass destruction.
— Silvern