Gabe.L

Hmm, I will start with my criticism: On a whole, this story is very choppy, you have a lot of very short sentences. Don't be afraid to throw some more ...

You fit in well here, I can tell that from afar. You see, you are lucky, if he shakes his head, he will not serve you. No one talks back ...

Really very nice, I have one problem with Perhaps a bit more planning, could have prevented... this unforgiving scar, This is just sort of awkwardly worded, just consider smoother language. ...

While I understand that this is fresh out of the notebook, I think it may be beneficial for you to do some editing. As for the Poem itself, you did ...

This is a funny and unusual spin on the more usual "Writers block" poem. While I disagree with the structure of the poem in terms of line breaks, I, probably ...

This is an interesting poem, I like the sort of off beat tempo that you develop with this one. Usually I dont like capitalization that is not needed, however, I ...

Things to be happy about Gravel roads in upstate New York, The scent of Gasoline coming from the exhaust of a station wagon, A new pair of shoes, Warm cookies, ...

Gabe It was icy in the park and the girls found it difficult to stop. The small red cart sped down the dimly lit concrete path, splitting the snow-covered park ...

Gabe Urine I had just unzipped my fly as the door swung open; out of the corner of my eye I could see the child run in, he was black, ...