Gadi.

Hey! Thank you very much for your crits. "It's about a family being burned, no?" I'd let you decide that. When I wrote it, I imagined their house being burnt, ...

"Do you have any tip on how to leave out the rheorical qustions, but keep the depth in my poem? AE" Of course! The most beautiful way and simplest way ...

aestar, did you crit any of Vamp's work?

I can't agree more with Colleen. The rhetorical ?'s must go, and the complete stream-of-conciousness style is too much. I liked some parts of it, though some other parts felt ...

1 The night we returned home, burning ashes floated in air like fireflies. We heard the sirens ring through the night; school was out, and we could just make out ...

Hahahahahahahahahahah!

This seemed very much like an important, wonderful stream-of-conciousness poem, and I liked it. However, the rhythm and the structure were somewhat stuck in the middle. Here's my fix: 1 ...

Even though the New England boys didn't want us -- (Is it colleges?) what a moron I am today Too informal. I liked this, overall. Simple yet quite complex. The ...

Yes! This is good. I like this. "did you pause to contemplate the wicked propaganda you did facilitate?" I agree...bleh. "no fearful handfuls of dust" This is really good. I'd ...

Whoever thought up this idea is amazing. I am so excited for NaPoWriMo. Woot! I will post one poem a day, and I hope that they will all be butchered ...

This is more of a poem than real, hard song lyrics. As a poem, it's wonderfully creative, terriffyingly true and sobering. As a lyric--meh.

A couple grammer mistakes: "My body you will burried, " "For what you're living for," Overall, this was good--as a normal lyric. I think you could do so much more ...

The thing with this lyrics is as others mentioned above: it's pointlessly stupid. Including the spaces, and the idea, and the telling not showing. However, your rhyming was truly hilarious.

That idiot should just get out of the White House. *is looking for another opportunity to bash the current US gov't* Overall, amazing editing. Me like.

1 3 4 6 were my favorites. 1: So sharp, so clean... it's really spectacular. 3: The dog gives off such a small-town cuddly. 4: mmm. Also small town, very ...