Gadi.

WOW! This was incredible. I loved this. Beautiful imagery, beautiful concept. Must be one of the best poems I've read on here. I especially liked your lack of punctuation. It ...

Nice. This is really good. You used very ice vocabulary, very nice structure. I especially liked the last stanza that talks about "closed off by old instincts, fear"... My only ...

In ecru tanks they travel through the lands of roaring flax in arsenic search of machines that pump through crust hungrily. The thunder echoes: there is no rush of rain; ...

In the first sentence, I would personally change the word moonlight to moon. "his dirt covered face" dirt-covered is better---you need to add another word though! "In his arms, the ...

I just realized something too: Directness leads to cliche. This poem tells us a lot. "I hate life." So...what? That's what all the emo people say when they cut themselves. ...

Tiny stood up in mid sentence and said to Ronny, "Did you see that?" "What?" "Kurokawa just ran from Danny's room!" Ronny stood up and darted down the hall. "Sh*t ...

OMG I FORGOT! Sorry. Or maybe it could have been someone else who hit Danny! So then when he's concious again he'll tell us and it'd be a complete surprise! ...

HEY KATRINA!

"Tiny, I'll be coming with you and Danny--I..I need to talk with you." Ronny said; Tiny eyed him suspiciously, but then nodded. Killer and Althea ran to his car and ...

Ronny couldn't help glare at Kurokawa. What a b****. He hated her, and it wasn't just tribal hate, or gang hate, or hate that you want to kill someone--it was ...

Wow. Short. Suggestions: This poem has no potential, but you've done great with it! I like how you create this chain of actions: You touch my lips, my lips kiss ...

Mmmm.... This seemed like a sophisticated poem at first read, but during the second read it all collapsed. I think this has been done before--darkness is light, death is life, ...

The Chosen by Chaim Potok.

NICE! This is really good. I have to say I am impressed. I am wowed. The way you told us the HEART portion, it is info-dump, but there is no ...

Mmmmmmmm.... Interesting.... Mmmmm... I am kind of slit in half right now. There are so many places where this story could've went wrong, but in the end there were only ...