Gadi.

Here are my thoughts on this: It seemed like an excellent writing stlye, voice, tone....beautiful writing strageties, really. I felt like I was reading a poem. The problem(s) have to ...

Orion looked at the female centaur, but did not bow to her as she did to him. "You show great respect, centaur, but you have not yet told me your ...

Mmm. Yay! First person ever to answer to one of the critiques so fully. Okay, so... the only thing that confuses you is the blue, right? Well, I use blue ...

OH-and why does it only say Nine Eleven Th? Where's the rest?

"September eleventh: when nightmarish sounds Echoed throughout our globe. " Why do you tell us that the sounds were nightmarish? SHOW us! "Though the future's uncertain, veiled in doubt, Hope ...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Much, much better. The only problem is that there's too much goodness. That makes it sticky. That makes it messy. What you need to do is combine sentences together--that ...

OOoooo forgot such an important part: Separate the last sentence into "While smoke rises from velvet underneath your blue feet." (see how I added the blue and changed beneath ro ...

Wow. I like this. It's not amazing, but it's one of the better poems on here. I loved how you wrote that the "flames licked the stones" (or something like ...

It's going to be hard critiquing this. The only bad thing about this is...CLICHE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! People like WRITING cliches, but they hate READING cliches. Guess which one I am going ...

I like it! The first two sentences were confusing, but after I understood that the entire meaning of the poem was the Anne Frank "I want to live even after ...

My favorite stanza from this was "to sit and stare at the girl of your dreams but thats just it, dreams. Thump Thump. " It's ironic and funny. Otherwise, the ...

The beginning is excellent. I like the fog metaphore...but I hated the last two lines of stanza one! They seemed so passe, and incredibly unrhymthic, especially "as a wounded ghost" ...

I actually saw the movie before the book, I think, because I liked the movie... but of course, the book was so much better! Plus, it has so much information ...

A man Ronny once saw with Kurokawa was there, but he didn't know his name. The man looked at them both with some kind of hatred, some kind of menace. ...

Wow. It's funny, but he doesn't really sue God--he wants to make a point in the best manner ever. :)