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Re: Scream
You may want to leave a space between the introduction and the beginning to let us know it isn't actually part of the poem. Your word choice, like other people ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Wannabe
Yes I agree with some of the above comments. You have some really nice ideas but try to use more imagery. Instead of telling us a lot of your feelings ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Sexual relationships in universities
I was briefly reading an article about this in the "Times Higher Education" magazine; it had some very thought-provoking ideas. At one point it mentioned how in the '20s many ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Mistakes Never Forgotten
I have gone too far Just to claim what is mine. Like the enigmatic beginning. The stars in the sky will never say a word No witnesses in the dark. ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: The Tunnel
The Tunnel Whose depths forever coil the secret we both shared: as we howled into the vice of glinting darkness, tasting passion, folding flesh, blinding each other with the agony ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: My Writing Depresses Me
Write for an hour a day. Or even five minutes. Whatever you do, keep those creative juices flowing. Set yourself a dedicated time to write. Just vomit write. Doesn't matter ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: ...I suppose this is the welcome forum!
Hey SK! Welcome to YWS from cloudy England! I'm Gahks (that's pronounced 'garks'); glad to meet you! I don't read or write science-fiction, but there are plenty of people on ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Questions Only
How can we eat the bloody pizza when the pizza man is eating it right now?
May 23, 2008 -
Re: As you Approach Me From Behind
Wow! Great for a first shot! I did like the use of anaphora and repetition here but I felt you overused it. Keep to the rule of three! However, the ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Not drunk anymore are you?
Hey there. Welcome! So sorry to read about what happened. Although I sympathise with your loss, I agree with the other reviewers: get rid of the emotion. It's too cliched ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: In The Picture
DI James Mason sighed at the prospect of being stuck with his nephew for the next God-knows-how-many hours. Even simply staring at a suspect through the two-way mirror, eyes glinting ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: Changing Religion
Agreed, Firestarter. In my opinion, your religion can be as flexible as that bendy plastic toy you got from McDonalds. Just because you're 'born' into a faith doesn't mean you ...
May 23, 2008 -
Re: The Death Penalty
Yes: please get back to the topic now!
May 22, 2008 -
Re: Questions Only
Why can't I?
May 22, 2008 -
Re: What would YOU do?
Eat them all. Mmm, delicious! What would you do if the world ran out of oil?
May 22, 2008