Heatherish

Chapter 4: "What do we do now?" I asked him. "We are going to hop on the subway, and head to the Upper East Side where I live," he answered. ...

well, i dont know how to answer your first question, but as for the second one, i like it when you have to slowly but surely learn about a character ...

1) How old do you think Yazra is? How old do you think she should be? I assumed that she was 18. I think it said that her mom was ...

i liked this part a lot. i definitely dont think you should cut it out. i like the way you described her dream. it was unique in that it was ...

wow that was incredible...i wont comment further because i already left you a list on your last post haha but really good job im going to find the rest of ...

wow i just read all 18 (?) chapters and i am hooked on your story. first and foremost let me say that i like your writing style a lot and ...

alright well i really did love your story, however there are a few character and plot points that could be improved upon. -i think we should find out about them ...

Chapter 3: “Anticipating, and planning for the day I sweep you off your feet, I'd never leave you alone.” (Brand New) Nicholas was still chuckling while he bought the tickets ...

i like this story a lot. i felt bad for Jene at first but then when i found out it was her twin i was shocked and extremely sympathetic. i ...

okay okay okay okay that clears A LOT up thanks!! by the way the italics didnt show up....if you had them on some kind of word processor of sorts you ...

okay, first and foremost i am VERY interested so keep writing this. now here are the things i think u should tweak or elaborate on: -the first quote doesnt have ...

A) i am eternally grateful to you for the time you are taking on my writing B )you are on my "favorite people" list C) um....i am eternally grateful to ...

i made that correction. again i cant possibly thank you enough for taking the time to run through my writing over and over again.

haha aw im glad that he surprised you! maybe that means you havent seen a character quite like him before?? also INCREDIBLY happy you LIKE him. i needed to post ...

okay so, i made almost all of the corrections you suggested (thanks for those by the way, they were really good and im glad you caught them) i only left ...