HenryVIII

'Lo there. Very nice prologue, but it might serve you better as a first chapter, especially since this seems to be information you could most likely easily include in your ...

Hello, again. This chapter is certainly very long, and you have some nice breaks where you might start a new chapter. I'd consider doing so. The part where Talie throws ...

Hello, and very nice opening chapter. Your main character is very likeable, as are your descriptions. A few lines didn't makes sense at the time- especially the paragraph about her ...

Hello, again. Not quite sure why you started a new chapter- you didn't need to, and the past chapter wasn't long enough to warrant being split up, and the transition ...

Hello, A few typing errors that you have there. Look over it once, they're obvious, or relatively obvious. I first thought that this might me a Rapunzel story of some ...