IamFlamingo

Hi! So first of all, just one tiny error I would like to point out (I hate being nit picky, but always appreciate when people point that kind of stuff ...

I like the rhythm of this piece, the way it kind of revs up and keeps a momentum going. I also am assuming your lack of punctuation is deliberate because ...

This is really cool. It sucks you in right away, because you're trying to really figure out what's going on. I still don't fully understand it, at least the part ...

This is really beautiful. There's a haunted confusion throughout this poem, which I think is what you were going for? I love how there is a description of all the ...

I agree that longer would be better. Not necessarily a longer conversation, but if there was a bigger build up, or more description between the words, or what may have ...

I love your concept here. It's very very interesting and cool. There are a few places in which you use "She" when you should be using "Her" or where you ...

This is very cool. I love some of the little things you did with this, it made the words feel like they had movement, if you know what I mean. ...

So first of all, I think this is a really cool concept, flaking away. It's a pretty strong image, and I agree that I wished you had incorporated it a ...

I'm just going to get a few little edit-y things out of the way first. Caresses has only one "r" in the first stanza and it should be the "night's ...