JC

Uh...it's a little shallow doncha think?

Moon =D

Not a bad start. It was short though. I'm sure if you wanted to you could add some flashback, a short scene or something where she's with her family and ...

Ah...that was an abrupt ending =D I must say, I thought your first chapter had a whole lot more emotion. For this being her seeing her mom for the first ...

Awww, that's cute. This wasn't too cheesy or mushy for me, it was relateable. I love how you worked some story into that string of emotion. awesome job =D Keep ...

For some reason a lot of things in this really bugged me... Suggestions: Teenagers these days? I'm assuming you mean middle school, in which case cool, you caught the air ...

CRIT FOR FOUR: This was also good, only I didn't read it all at yeah. I think there could have been more to this, but other than that it was ...

Yeah sure use it! I won't ever do anything with this =D I don't know when part two will come, but I shall PM you when it does =D could ...

ah, well you didn't miss much. The second one sucked and the third was confusing =D hehe. but long as you get it I'm cool =D hehe -JC

They were writing in the notebook.

Sworddance, In another chapter Mary's name is said for the first time...I think it was 30:2...Ortega, or something like that =D Thanks for all the reviews people =D -JC

Chapter 33 squared -Normality -On Three Accounts The notebook shut in a ruffle of bent pages, Jamie was breathing hard, resisting the urge to test her heartbeat. “Sorry,” Amber said, ...

I agree with Alainna, it is slowing down a lot. There really doesn't seem to be a plot or a problem or anything like that. Conflict. One word that all ...

but deep down I knew when that baby was born it would be my little minion, I could train it to be my slave and to do whatever I told ...

Okay...I am officiall confused. Can I just have a character list...names and who they are...this includes creatures. Then can I have a plot list. I honestly have no clue what's ...