JC

She would be happy, if she had meant to hurt him, instead of just get him off of her. Maybe I should make that clearer....

Oops...*Changes to italics...* Thanks =D

I'm going to add to this chapter, it's on my to do list. But if I had, I wouldn't have been able to post it here. Small price to pay ...

Well, have you ever seen somebody go down the stairs so fast you thought for sure they would fall? They used their body velocity to go faster...well...that's considered "throwing yourself ...

Yeah...it's one of my things I've gotta work on. I just can't seem to add that kind of thing without it seeming cheesy or unreal....

It's possible to get a blade from a shaving razor, I've done it (tested it to make sure it would work here). Of course, I used pliers and a hammer... ...

That's parts coming, but right now Jamie doesn't know what his motives are, she can only guess. I want to put the reader in the same boat, so to speak.

The thing is, it's not so much a journal that she's writing. It's a story, a philosophy actually. I read one of my dads philosophy books (boring as hell, wouldn't ...

Thanks Alainna =D I really appreciate that you continue to read these, I really do. Yeah, alike does sound kinda outta place, I'll drop it. =D Thanks for the crit! ...

Well, it could be improved. Paragraph structure: It seems a lot of these are shorter than they should be. Especially the ones with thoughts or dialouge (short as it may ...

Tha'd be cool. I would read it, most definently. If you do continue it, PM me, this was awesome. =D -JC

Wow, for a second there I was afraid Qwerty would kill santa...which would be deeply distubing... All crazy elf rebellions aside, the critique! My main problem with this is that ...

Philosophy of the Dark Chapter 30:2 -Ortega They walked into the court room side by side. Eyes followed them, wondering what had changed. What would change. Jamie caught Ortega eyeing ...

Makes me think of pirates of the Carabbean =D maybe because I have the song stuck in my head, who knows? hehe, and write me, you made me giggle =D ...

Cor. Lumme. Lawks. Raxacollikophallabatoriaxe This made me giggle...I just wish I knew what it meant... =D -JC