JC

Thanks for the helpful comments. Jig, I thought it was interesting that you said nothing really happened so far, but I can assure you that the rest of the story ...

Wow...thank you so much everybody. :D Um, well, I did want to leave the ending ambiguous, and let the reader kind-of infer what they think happened. Almost like what they ...

Edited. I hope this clears a few things up.

Thanks IMP. I think the ending and what you noticed with the time in the end of the story is because she was doing exactly what her mother did, so ...

Oboe: She said she was going for an American view in the story. Football has to be soccar, or it's English, not American. I understand the dfference between Football and ...

I get it that you're trying to write your own story, but the coincidence is a little off-putting, if you would like to call it completely your own. I don't ...

The bus pulled out from behind me and out of the school compound as I stared at the huge building before me that was Everfield Academy This is a little ...

Unrealistic??? But Twilight and Eragon are?

Thank you. I wasn't sure if I needed to say what the character looked like...the story was so short that it didn't really need it, in my opinion. I guess ...

Oh, something I forgot. I didn't so much like the parts where you changed perspective. I think it would be better to reveal that through some sort of interaction between ...

Wearing beat-up Converse seems like the most ridiculously cliched thing for a halfway-rebellious (and I'm guessing artsy) teenage narrator. Personally, converse are the only shoes I wear. I think they

I actually have this in my wishlist on Amazon. I think I'll go buy it now. You all made it seem really...good...and sad...mostly sad. Wow. Sounds like my cup of ...

Hey Isaac, just so you know, you'll get more critiques if you space it out. In fact, I'll come back when you do. PS- There's a rule around here, two ...

You barely showed to us her relationships to her friends. She er...doesn't have friends. Sorry. She knows people, but it's more of an aquaintence thing. But, I know what you ...

A teenage vampire girl who faces some conflicts which are school related lol. Anica isn't a vampire, fledgeling or otherwise. =D, but thank you for the critique, Fayth.