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Jashael

Jashael

  • Short Story » General, General Re: I became speechless when..

    Hey, Amsivana! Jash here for a rather quick review. But first! Nitpicks! I am Mrs. Talwar, a 34 year old married housewife. There should be hyphens between "34" and "year," ...

    Oct 19, 2017
  • Poetry » Romantic, Other Re: To my dearest one

    Hi, godlypopo! Jash here for a quick review. Without a word to and from. This is a really good line. I like this! It might seem lacking at first read, ...

    Oct 18, 2017
  • Poetry » Narrative, Realistic Re: Not All Dreams Come True

    Hey, Biluata! Some fine poem you got there. One of my favorite parts was when you repeated the first line to be elaborated a few stanzas later. The parts starting ...

    Oct 18, 2017
  • Script » Dramatic, General Re: Keeping It Together

    Hey, Redbox275! Jash here for a quick review. Per request, I shall comment on grammar, the overall quality of the story, and characterization. But first! Let me nitpick a bit ...

    Oct 17, 2017
  • Poetry » Culture, Realistic Re: be proud

    Hi, whoahhitherepal! Three things first: 1. I'm not very fond of the two exclamation points at the end of the Yous. I think one exclamation would suffice. Or even without ...

    Oct 16, 2017
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Is it sad?

    Hey, VegasLights! This is an "okay" read, but I think it could be better. I think you can add more poetic devices to it to add some "spice." Try and ...

    Oct 15, 2017
  • Short Story » Realistic, General Re: I Love You

    Hey, PastelSlushie! (I really like your name.) Jash here for a rather quick review. I'll start with pinpointing certain sentences or lines that I find awkward or flawed. Take note ...

    Oct 15, 2017
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Daylight Clarity

    Hi, Aley! I was just stalking the poetry and happened to stumble upon your work. I must say this is amazing. I adore its flow - for me it seemed ...

    Oct 13, 2017
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Spiritual Re: For The love of God

    Hi, Rascalover. Your opening is pretty strong. I like the opening dialogue and the brevity of the introduction of the story. I do agree with Zoom regarding the ending; it ...

    Oct 11, 2017
  • Short Story » Realistic, Other Re: No Sharp Edges

    Hello! Before I start, I wish to tell you that I do not like the format. I can take italics, but I really wish you hadn't put everything in bold. ...

    Jun 20, 2013
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Helping Jaclyn

    Hi! Thanks for reviewing my song I want to give back the favor. : ) A few nitcpiks: "mahy" is "many". When trying to use BBcode, you should use brackets. ...

    Jun 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Romantic, Narrative Re: Break Down

    I love this poem, alliyah. Your thoughts were simply but well portrayed. I can relate to it (at some point) and I'm sure a lot of girls out there can, ...

    Jun 13, 2013
  • Lyrics » Romantic, Realistic Re: hunter

    Hello, Razcoon! I think this is really cute. It's simple, but the nice kind of "simple" that means a lot of people can probably relate to it, which is really ...

    Jun 13, 2013
  • Short Story » Romantic, Health Re: Do you remember, Anna?

    So, as you requested, I will overlook the typos. But I think I found a nitpick: ...and cooked for my roommates and I. Me. I also would suggest spelling out ...

    Mar 23, 2013
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, Realistic Re: Here For You

    Hello, LifeUnknown! I'm Jash, and I'm here to review your song. A few nitpicks: You're ready to let go you're in it's another... more than they use too Its all ...

    Mar 18, 2013


"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda