KJ

Again, interesting. But one thing that bothered me was that the child was called "it" several times, when it's clear that "it" is a child. ...Or is it?... Make more ...

I guess the only thing I can say was that it was interesting. I wasn't all that enthralled, but it was well-written.

I liked your descriptions. It was a little unrealistic that the cab driver just let the man go when he didn't pay, but I guess that's just part of the ...

Since this takes place in present-day (at least that was the impression I got from the woman with the folder and the fluorescent lights), the whole coin-thing with the guards ...

What time does this take place in? The language your main character uses makes me feel as if it's 2008. You use "okay" a lot, and "come on". If it ...

I didn't really get all that interested in this. I found it dull. I thought the whole going-back-in-time thing corny. I feel that this would be better if the story ...

I really liked this. When I read the "Once upon a time" thing, I thought, oh great here we go... but it was great! There were a few mistakes here ...

I know you posted this a while ago, but I wanted to review something I haven't read before, and I've read all the new submissions. Here it is: Pretty good. ...

I’m going to nit-pick first. But don’t worry; there are positive things to say at the end. First of all, after the scene of the mother leaving her child, and ...

He is obviously very old, and looks harmless enough, but you never know with strangers Really the only problem I have with this. The "you never know with strangers" doesn't ...

As I sat on the edge of my window, staring outside, watching the day pass me by. Would sound better as something like: As I sat on the edge of ...

I also like "stone" better for the description. And I liked this whole thing. Very interesting. I was a little confused on the seller-customer part. I found myself thinking that ...

Funny.

This is really good. Your descriptions are rich and the flow of the plot and dialogue was great. The battle scene was well done... but I kind of wish there ...

and i wonder-could they compare their worth?? Don't like the two exclamation points. And the i's need to be capitalized. flows over her shoulders and down Would sound better as: ...