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KJ

  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, General Re: Smoke Follows Beauty- Part One

    Since the other two have basically covered everything, I'm just going to skip over the preliminaries and give you my overall opinion: It was a good beginning. I thought it ...

    Aug 1, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Whisper in the Wind (4 of 4)

    Loved the ending. Only found two things wrong with this piece: Adam is there in my dreams, in my thoughts, in every wakening moment. Waking , not wakening The other ...

    Aug 1, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Whisper in the Wind (3 of 4)

    Hey Ash. I found nothing wrong, really. While I don't think this is your best piece, it isn't your worst. I'm sad that Adam turned out to be such a ...

    Aug 1, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Discovering Love

    Hey Sar. Okay, so while I'm disappointed to have missed all the events that happened between the part I left off and now, I enjoyed this. I felt bad for ...

    Jul 31, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Dark Goddess [3]

    Me again. It didn't take me long to read this addition; it's pretty short. Don't take that the wrong way - it's a good thing. I don't really like reading ...

    Jul 31, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Poisoned Roses--Chapter 10

    Hey Ash - I loved this chapter. I think it might be your best yet. The writing is great, the dialogue is realistic, and your character development is fabulous. I ...

    Jul 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: The Locket by Grace

    I think accent are fine when someone is speaking, but in the actual narrative I find it annoying, yes. It distracts me form the story. You have many punctuation erros ...

    Jul 30, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Dark Goddess [2]

    A solid beginning, I think. I enjoyed it. While there wasn't any immediate action - which would have been a nice addition - you pulled off giving us info well. ...

    Jul 30, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Secrets of the Heart - Prologue

    While I liked it, there wasn't really anything to grab my attention and keep it. I was curious as to why they were all staring at her, but since you ...

    Jul 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Truth About Queens

    I liked the humor of it all, first off. However, this would have been more enjoyable if you'd punctuated it correctly, not to mention formatted it right. I don't view ...

    Jul 29, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Whisper in the Wind (2 of 4)

    Hey Ash. This part was great; I really enjoyed it. You got some good character development in there for the MC. I liked the atmosphere you created. But the whole ...

    Jul 29, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: The Jane Effect Part 5

    Angel of Death - I felt like I owed you for all the reviews you've given me. Granted, I haven't read the first four parts of this, but I still ...

    Jul 29, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Clover's Curse (redone)

    I only have one major problem with this, otherwise I loved it. The problem is this: setting. You say that there is no specific time, it's a fairy tale? But ...

    Jul 29, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Land of Sky, Land of Rain (Chapter Three)

    The dragon was very abrupt... I didn't really like the dialogue between Emma and the man. It's too modern-day. Now I realize that these people have knowledge of our world, ...

    Jul 28, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Land of Sky, Land of Rain (Chapter Two)

    Another good addition. However - yes, there is ALWAYS a however - there were three problems. One, the punctuation. Yes, there is ALWAYS punctuation problems :). You forget quotation marks ...

    Jul 28, 2008


You got rid of them. Yes, that's just like you. Getting rid of everything unpleasant instead of learning to put up with it.
— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World