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Kaylyn

Kaylyn

  • Poetry » Fantasy, Dramatic Re: Future Sky

    Just a few things: Grammar: "Pail and bleak" You used the wrong version, it should be pale not pail. "Erie white" Should be spelled Eerie. "Of a forthcomming day" Should ...

    May 21, 2013
  • Poetry » Romantic, Dramatic Re: Ode to a Raven's Call

    First of all, Bravo. I love the rhyming scheme and that's quite impressive with the length. However, just a few things I saw: "Falling back on my grave inscribed on ...

    May 21, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, Other Re: Paradoxical Roots

    I'd say firstly that I think you could do a lot more with this poem than what is already here. However, just a couple technical things: "on paper --" If ...

    May 21, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Cherokee

    First of all, I just wanted to say how I admire this. It's a poem with true content. Anyways, there are some things that could use a little fixing. I ...

    May 21, 2013
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Secrets

    Alright, just a few things: Grammar: "Wont let me roll.." Be careful to make sure you add in those apostrophes in contractions. Texting and autocorrect has certainly spoiled me in ...

    May 21, 2013
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: Unreadable

    Okie dokie, it's ok that you are a little rusty. However, I feel that this poem is SO generic that I feel like I have read this a hundred times. ...

    May 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Fallen Star

    Just a few things: Grammar: I found a few mistakes such as these: "Don't hold me back/ no more." Grammatically this should be ANY more. Also, there is an additional ...

    May 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Spiritual, Dramatic Re: fracture

    Just a few things: Grammar: I know that some don't use "proper" grammar and capitalization in their poetry, but I really prefer it. Personally, that's all I can think about ...

    May 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, Romantic Re: Firsts

    Okie dokie, so there is no format to this poem what-so-ever which can really pull away attention from the actual content, and I'm sure you worked hard on this, so ...

    May 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Realistic Re: Unbearable...

    Okie dokie. Just a few things: Grammar/Punctuation: Make sure to add periods and commas where they are needed. When you end a thought, end it with a period. You did ...

    May 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Other, Other Re: Deleted

    Okie dokie, not normally a huge fan of these kinds of poems, however, with that being said, this is a bit better than most. Flow/Rhythm For the most part you ...

    May 17, 2013
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: A Thought

    Alrighty, just a few suggestions: Break this up into two stanzas, it's long enough to be done. If you were to break it up into stanzas I would recoomend breaking ...

    May 17, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, Other Re: The Fabric of Me

    Alright, just a few things, but first lets focus on your structure. It appears to be an explosion of "OMG, WHAT"S HAPPENING HERE??" I don't know if this is intentional ...

    May 14, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Will You?

    Ok. Just some general things: Structure: I would break this up into stanzas. When it is longer like this it is easier for the reader to follow if it is ...

    May 14, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: The Progression of Madness

    First, let me say I love this. Some things I will address though: Grammar: Change it to perfect "o" instead of perfect 'o'. If you aren't going to capitilize, the ...

    May 14, 2013


Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
— Captain Jack Sparrow