LiamChamberlin

Thank you for the review. I've fixed the dialogue. Regarding the matter of chapters; this isn't the beginning of the story. The main character has not be introduced. I thought ...

Thanks for the advice. The dialogue was something I intended to fix in a later draft, but I wasn't sure what the rule was. Its fixed now, but somehow in ...

Thanks for the review. I appreciate the advice. I do feel like the last paragraph needs somework. The mystery of the fire was intended, but I'll talk about that later ...

Great writing! I was really impressed with how smooth each sentence read. Your plot is very compelling and I'd love to read more. Keep it up!