Lil_Pau

Well, this was quite a nice read. You used the metamorphosis of a butterfly as a subject and I think it really suited. Just one thing: add punctuation. It makes ...

Hey, not bad. It's something unique. Short, but expressed in a unique way. I really liked it. Just a reminder: it's not necessary to capitalize the words like you did ...

I liked this. It is a nice poem, with a lot of good imagery and expressed in a unique way. The only thing I have to point out that you ...

It's an attractive poem, and I really enjoyed it. Just one thing: the punctuation. It needs improvement. Don't go and put a fullstop at all the lines! (Take Stori's advice) ...

Although the poem was pretty simple and slightly cliched, you did a good job of expressing the emotions. It was really powerful and when I read it, it was as ...

This was an unusual story, but very interesting. You still need to revise it though. I won't point out anything since Chirantha and Sohini have already done it. Well, the ...

I quite enjoyed this one. It's really interesting and has a lot of good imagery. The only thing is: [[Deep blue dissolves the sands of time that run through her ...

For me, the poem was just OK. I feel the emotions you're trying to convey but your poem was a bit cliched and dull. You could try using some metaphors ...

Your idea was good, but I have to agree that the rhyming was terribly forced. It ruined the poem's flow and content, and when I read it, it was like ...

This poem was really good, especially the first stanza. However, the way you ended the poem did not suit well for me. It was really abrupt and I felt that ...

Welcome to YWS! OK, to tell the truth, I really liked this poem. It has a lot of imagery and emotions in it. The rhyme was just OK for me, ...

Nice poem, but the meaning wasn't really clear to me. I also agree that if it was longer, it would have been better. Oh well... "I leave one on your ...

Hey, I have to agree that it sounds more like a song. About the first line "So many pity lives", were you going to mean "So many pitiful lives"? Overall, ...

This is simply amazing. It's really wonderful and beautiful, and has a lot of good imagery. I can't see any errors in this poem. The flow was great, the description ...

I agree that though the message was not so clear, it's really an enjoyable read, and for a starter poet, you're quite good! The imagery was nice and the structure ...