Liz

Why the shrug? I really like this. It's a good, solid concept and it works towards the message of the poem really well. I especially liked the middle three stanzas. ...

Beautiful. Really originally expressed. I loved the joined words especially. The only thing I had a problem with was the last line. It seemed cliched and didn't do the rest ...

Nice. You really created an atmosphere. Well-written, interesting, nice ending. Good work.

I like it. This line: "The mists still circle around me enveloping my malleable body into silver threads of the cosmos" is probably a bit long, it would flow better ...

but i was high on air. my mind had slackened and i could do no more than watch the clock. and i saw your face in colour, behind the dartlike, ...

Hmm. I kind of drifted off, it didn't capture my attention. It's a little annoying how they talk, makes it hard to read. With a lot of improvement this wouldn't ...

friday night was just like that wet night, our last in paris. i hung onto Simon's arm, half-heartedly walking next to him under his umbrella, when the rain was flying ...

what do you call it when another guy's arm is hugging you close, under a single umbrella, when it's pouring down? and you love the rain so you try to ...

silk of different pastels hooks its sharp, roughly-cut edges into my eyes, plunging down to my irritated, scarlet core. plates of exotic entrees and arms around shoulders and bright wooden ...

It's good, but you do need to expand. The whole "guiding light" thing is a bit worn-out, so I suggest that you put some personal emotions in here, more than ...

Good. The jacket thing is kind of overdone, but I like how you portrayed it here.

we don't turn round in your convertible the cd player blasts inspiration to homeless people lying on benches but we don't look back into the sun I think the second ...

i started crying "one, swallow water, two, swallow water." i could maybe do twenty-eight or more in a minute then eject it. it's all for practise and if black hangs ...

And all I wanted was the simple things A simple kind of life And all I needed was a simple man So I could be a wife sitting for exams ...

Not bad. There is definitely some potential for a great poem. I'll try to help and suggest improvements. This first kiss was so different from the last So full of ...