Loose

i liked this, very well described. :D

happened not happoned

Marge, check chapter 2 Yeah I have a problem with tenses XD

i enjoyed this, only I havent read the rest of the story so it makes no sense. But it was a good chapter 30!

okay two things: 1)That spacing is freaky and annoying 2) paragraphs!

okay, that first sentence doesnt make any sense. Did you make sure to spell check?

I cant join 2 and 3 together cos theyre different people. 2 is Rick and 3 is Claudette

okay i read it, ish. The first few lines seem a bit like a poem to me XD Yeah, it was good now you must read mine, mwahahaha

feel free to critique anytime!!

Okay, its a bit long but I got through it! Whoo! I love the names too, Nekara, Bulion But I cant really critique fantasy fiction since I cant really tolerate ...

wait, did you write this in jail or is it just your character?

=O thats fantastic. well, no it isnt, its terrible that he died and how, but its so well written, i nearly cried. is there anymore to it? thats what I ...

i enjoyed this actually. will there be any more? i want to know more about the murder itself!! ok now im feeling psychotic. its good, well written.

repeatitive sieg, not repeative, lol. and yet i agree. Its like a nursery rhyme or something. Everytime a stanza comes to an end im singing "Take this pain away" lol

no i dont, but i wish i did... :D