MagnusBane

Hey GrenadeCatcher! Cool story. I thought it was interesting. There are a few things that I noticed while I was reading it, however. It was really loud, but he didn’t ...

Hi birchermuesli! I really liked this story. I did notice a few minor things that could be fixed, though. She could vaguely make out two black hooded figures step out ...

Hey Blackrose! I really liked this beginning. It could definitely get interesting if you added a few more chapters. I did notice a few things, though: The Prophecy This title ...

Hey! I agree with what everyone said about this being a little too short, but I definitely think it has promise. :) First, though, there were a few things that ...

Well, it's not a bad story, but I'm a little confused about where it's going. It's just about a girl taking a shower, and then she gets out and goes ...

Cute. :) I'm usually not a fan of romance, but I really liked this. The world spins in deathly circles and I can barely see through the foggy windows. I ...

Death. The word had never held any real meaning to me before now. I agree with Classy. You can think of a better beginning. :) His bright green eyes full ...

It seems surreal . I decide it isn’t real . You already said that it seems surreal. You don't need the second sentence. The word is pounding with every step ...

I really liked this. Your main character seems very realistic. “ Crys, you bitch!” she screeched. At first I thought that was a typo, and you meant "Cry." I didn't ...

Well, I'm definitely excited that your vampires don't sparkle :D I ran after the girl, unfurling my whip with a hiss. Is the whip making a hissing sound, or is ...

Hey Kitx! Nice job on the second part. :D The huge blank space at the top is kind of annoying, though. Anyways, some little things I noticed: “So just calm ...

I liked this piece. It's interesting, and it seems like it's going to be a cool story. :D I did notice a couple of things that you can improve, though. ...

I'm here to give my review at last! Sorry it took so long. But I wasn’t frightened by him, I trusted him. Should this be two sentences instead of one? ...

I liked this prologue. The concept was interesting, and I liked the idea of the orc camps. It looks like most of the nit picks have already been pointed out, ...

I really liked this story. I was a little surprised to find it in Fantasy Fiction, but whatever. It’s gotten to the point where you can’t trust anyone anymore. Good ...