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Mars

  • Short Story » General, General Re: [deleted]

    Holy [expletive] This stunned me. It was touching, and cute, sometimes, and a bit creepy (in a good way) and I really shouldn't be surprised since you're the author but ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: A Simple Mistake (Prologue) [edited]

    Wow, short and sweet. I have a couple things to point out, but overall it's pretty good. :) When I was six years old I dropped a glass plate on ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: [deleted]

    Well, this doesn't need tearing apart. I actually liked it a lot-could only find one thing to nit-pick: I take to sitting underneath my attic window, I don't like how ...

    Dec 2, 2008
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Here It Goes Again. Another YWS FanFic

    Clo: Instructors, assemble! Power of, overwhelming liberalism! BigBadBear: Power of, crappy internet connection! Kylan: Power of, excessive metaphor! Connie: Power of, gender confusion! Suzanne: So, i

    Dec 2, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: What is this feeling?

    I don't have a lot to say, since Face Engine pretty much said it all already. I agree with him. It's a good poem, but not remarkable. The only thing ...

    Nov 30, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: .

    I liked this a lot--can't really say anything that hasn't already been said :D Except, I assume you did this while reworking it, it should be shift of an eye.

    Nov 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Favorite Song Entry

    I liked this a lot. It gets a gold star. I really don't have any suggestions--your descriptions are beautiful, especially the guy's eyes, and I was afraid the fire part ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Forgotten

    This poem was okay but too repetitive-you're repeating the same things over and over without changing more than two or three words, and I found it a little tiresome to ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Spooner, And Other Assorted Life Partners

    Sorry-reading it again I realize my first post was really vague. No, I got what the first two were. I thought by "imaginary relationships" you meant something like imaginary friends, ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Hell

    I like this poem-it's kind of an overused subject, so you have to make it original and I think you did a good job of that. Stained by her black, ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Parting Clouds, Part 2

    Actually, I like your dialogue. This is realistic fiction, so you should portray your characters realistically (which you do). Part two! Yes! Here are a few suggestions (mostly writing or ...

    Nov 29, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: I Dabble

    I really liked this poem! Mostly I loved the imagery. There were a couple things I didn't understand (it's probably just me :P): When the sun rises, I think it's ...

    Nov 27, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Parting Clouds, Part 1

    Hello! I really liked this piece. I would tell you to continue it but you said you will! Also, this being the introduction, it's kind of hard to critique the ...

    Nov 26, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Misery Business

    Haha. I have been in this exact situation. Good job! It was really interesting. You made Cassidy a really strong character (I see her clearly, the band, red hair, kind ...

    Nov 22, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Paradox

    Well. It's not bad for two minutes, but honestly.. it's not good. I am shot with a thousand arrows... Going right through my still beating heart, This line is not ...

    Nov 16, 2008


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
— H. L. Mencken