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McMourning

  • Lyric Poetry Re: Rememberance Peak

    Hi. The biggest problem I see is spelling. "Thier" should be their*, and "Rememberance" should be Remembrance. Where were you when Elvis died trousers and shoes Like Lukas8u, this line ...

    Sep 25, 2009
  • Lyrics Re: A Letter

    Hi. I've only dabbled in writing lyrics, myself, but here's my thoughts... I feel the meaning and the story behind the words. It's beautiful in a sad sort of way. ...

    Sep 25, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: Listen

    Hi, Lilylynn. I agree with Snoink; you don't need the quotation marks and all the capitals. The order could also be changed a bit... My heart sinks, You never listen ...

    Sep 25, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: garage sale

    Hi. I suppose these are three separate poems in a collection titled "Garage Sale", but this title means nothing to me. It does not unify the poems. didn't know how ...

    Sep 25, 2009
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Beggar

    Hi. I usually don't read long pieces, but you had no reviews! I assume that you have already handed it in to your teacher, but perhaps you will rewrite this ...

    Sep 21, 2009
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Pills by Pills- Ch. 1- a work-in-progress.

    Hi. This seems like something I would write, and I hope that you aren't using people's real names. After all, this is fiction. I cry as I sing myself to ...

    Sep 21, 2009
  • Other Poetry Re: More than the world

    Hi. I agree that you need some commas, but I also think breaking it into stanzas will help. I also think it will flow better if you change this. You're ...

    Sep 20, 2009
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: disappointing discoveries (an excerpt) PG-13

    Hi. I'm not sure if this is the very beginning or not. If it is, I feel something is missing. Where did she the glass tube? Did she find it ...

    Sep 20, 2009
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Temptation's Charm

    Hi. Overall, a very charming poem. I'm not sure was tempting you, but I had something in my life that was tempting. I love you do not say what exactly ...

    Sep 20, 2009
  • Official Polls Re: Do You Have A Cellphone?

    Sometimes I borrow one if I need it

    Sep 19, 2009
  • Lounge, The Re: How did you find the Young Writers Society?

    Writer's Digest

    Sep 19, 2009
  • Randomosity Archive Re: insert coin

    You get an empty water bottle. *inserts coin*

    Sep 19, 2009
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Devil May Care? I Don't.

    Hi. The shards themselves jigsaw together to form a story so perfect, you can wait. Giving in, is no longer possible, believing in impossible is not such a lie. Very ...

    Sep 15, 2009
  • Randomosity Archive Re: What does this username make you think of?

    A colour used as a girl's name

    Sep 13, 2009
  • Writing Activities Re: You know you're a writer when...

    When a stranger reminds you of a character you've written. When you don't realise what time it is because you're so engrossed in what your writing.

    Sep 13, 2009


The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451